Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A little update

The sun has finally come out. After rain and grey skies for the last week (and it feels like a month!) the sun is shining. But not for long. We are supposed to have more rain starting tonight. I really do hope it stops by the weekend. I am so tired of the dampness.

I've been a bit down and blue for the last few days as well. Maybe it's the weather but I don't think so. I am missing my Mom something fierce. Today, the 6th, it is five months since my Mom passed. And I am hurting. Plus it is Mother's Day this weekend. We always did something special together. Whether it was just watching a movie, making a special dinner or, like last year, sitting on the deck in the sun and enjoying the beautiful day. But last year was also a rough Mother's Day evening. After a lovely day my Mom was really feeling good. Until about 11 PM when she went into respiratory distress and her second attack of congestive heart failure. That whole night was a nightmare. After calling the ambulance (and the cop yelled at me because our hallway was narrow and it was hard to get the stretcher into her bedroom!!) I sat with Mom in the emergency room until 5 AM when they moved her to ICU. That hospitalization last a week and had been her third one that year.

So my mood hasn't been the greatest. Too many wonderful memories and yet too many painful ones too. I am hoping that Sunday will be nice so I can go to the cemetery and plant some flowers for my Mom and sit with her for a while.

I have been stitching but no photos. I've been spending all my stitching time on a special project. When it arrives at its new home I'll be able to share some photos.

Until next time........................
I miss you Mom.
Love and stitches
Kathy

17 comments:

Alice said...

I am sorry to hear you are blue Kathy. The rain does not help when one feels that way. Of course you miss your mom and yes, I imagine mothers day, birthdays and Christmas are really hard on you. Your friends are here and we share the joy and divide the sorrow.
Hugs
Alice

Carolyn NC said...

Kathy,
You move me to tears. I'm so sorry that you are blue; this time of year is especially hard with all that has happened, I know. I'll be keeping you in prayer this week. Hugs.

Cindy F. said...

Dear, sweet Kathy. I feel your heartache reading your words. I know you love her dearly and miss her terribly.
Sending you BIG (((HUGS))) and on Mother's Day, I will keep you in my thoughts and pray only good memories will visit you:)

shutterbug said...

I know just how you feel Kathy. I lost my Mom in Feb of 1997. That first Mother's Day was the hardest. It's still hard but it does get a little easier with time. Hang in there. Tomorrow I plan on looking for something nice to take to the cemetery too. I'll say an extra prayer for you and your Mom on Sunday. :o)
Hugs, Elaine

Rene la Frog said...

{{{{{Kathy}}}}} I hope you can pull those good memories out and wrap yourself in them. I'll keep you in my thoughts on Sunday and hope the sun shines on you while you spend time remembering your Mom.

Siobhan said...

(((((((((Kathy)))))))) I think anniversaries/special days/birthdays are always the hardest, especially the first one without them. Lots of prayers and hugs going out to you.

Donna said...

Kathy, I am hugging you right now. All I can tell you is that in time it will get better. My dad has been gone 13 years and I am much better than I was the first year. You are in my thoughts.

Patti said...

{{{{{{{{{{{{Kathy}}}}}}}}}} You are in my thoughts. My mum passed away almost 8 years ago and I still think about her daily. It does get easier I promise. Patti xxx

Carol R said...

My mum passed away in 1976 - she was so young - but time heals and the hurting gets easier. Sending you healing thoughts!

Nancy said...

You and your mom were so close, so I can just imagine your heartache during your first Mother's Day without her. Spending some quiet time with her sounds like a nice way to spend your day. Having the dreary weather doesn't help much in the mood lifting department either. Our weekend is supposed to be quite cool. Glad I got my baskets done last weekend. Take care, and will be thinking of you!!!!

Jan said...

Kathy, your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for sunshine for your Sunday, visiting with your mom. Take good care of you, she would want that.

CindyMae said...

I am sorry that you are feeling so down right now! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

KsMaryLou said...

Kathy I tripped across your blog via Alma's BBD blog and your comment about Mother's Day touched me. I have missed my Mother (and best friend) for 16 years now and it does get easier to deal with but I still think of her everyday and miss our daily phone calls. My Husband doesn't understand why I hate Mother's Day so much since we lost our dear beautiful daughter 3 1/2 years, but I try to remind myself how being a mother is the link that has given us the coolest Granddaughter. Hang in there the holidays are the roughest the first year, and then the happy memories will provide some measure of comfort.

Mare said...

Sending hugs and soothing thoughts your way.

Mare

Deborah said...

I miss Mrs. K. truly so much also!!
Loved our little conversations when you had to let her have the phone!! She always kept me informed of exactly what you were doing and that you would be coming back in very short time. I don't think she really knew what to say to me, but she always managed to make some kind of most pleasant conversation!! Wish there was a magic short cut through the awful special days, but unfortunately I have not discovered it yet and don't think I ever will!! I miss her a whole bunch also!! I hope Sunday is just the best day for a nice long sit, stitch and long happy chats!! Her suffering is over and she is now with a BIG smile on her face and free from all the pain she suffered for so long. Take extra special care of your self Girlfriend!! Love and Hugs!! Deborah, Max and Miprezious, too!!

Debra said...

How your skys are sunny soon.
DLS

Meari said...

Awww Kathy ((hugs)). I can't even imagine how much you miss your Mom. Hopefully, the heartache will get easier as time goes by.