Friday, December 3, 2010

Where are you.........

Where are you stitching mojo? Where are you Christmas spirit? Where are you cheery smiles? I seem to have misplaced all of them. I am normally an optimist. And try to find a smile in everything. But it isn't easy right now. I had hoped that spending Thanksgiving with my dog show friends would help. It did for a little bit. Rory and I had a great time at the shows. No big wins for Rory but we still had fun. And that is what counts. But then it was back home to the money worries, the bills, and the fact that two years ago this Monday, the 6th, is the second anniversary of my Mom's passing. (Deep breath so I don't start crying.)

Today has been rough. It started with my train being canceled and having to stand outside at 7 am this morning in 36 degrees for 35 minutes until the next train came. My feet were frozen and here it is almost 2 and they finally feel thawed. Then I open up Facebook and read this posting by my sister.
I wish heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that's nothing new. I thought of you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence and often speak your name. All I have is memories and pictures of you in a frame. I miss you Mom.~ repost if you have someone in heaven that you miss on earth

My Mom, me and my dog, Maggie. Christmas 1998

That did me in. (Another deep breath.) Sorry folks. I'll try not to get the keyboard wet.

Stitching mojo. I haven't picked up a needle in 9 days! Yup, you read right. 9 days. I keep looking at all the stitching I want to get finished for Christmas. The gifts I need to stitch up. And just look at it. Sigh. I really should be stitching now during my lunch break but instead I thought I would type a blog post. Procrastination. Yup, that's me. Maybe this weekend. We'll see. I do need to get those pieces stitched.

I am now so glad I had my last exchanges of the year all stitched up before Thanksgiving. They are on their way to their new homes so no photos yet. I did have a bright spot that helped a little. Yesterday I came home to my exchange! Paula was my partner in the HoE Christmas smalls exchange. She stitched up the Love and Joy pattern by Plum Street Sampler from this years JCS Ornament issue. She finished it a pillow. I just love it. (Funny thing is that I am half way finished stitching this pattern myself. Now if I can finish it it will be a gift. ) She also included a few extras. Including a LHN pattern that I don't have and three Just Nan Christmas patterns! And of course Rory just loved the toy and chewie she included for him. Thank you so very much Paula!


































As for the Christmas spirit? I have always loved Christmas. I have a huge Christmas ornament collection as well as many house decorations and a large village. I haven't even begun to put anything out. And I just can't find the enthusiasm to do it. This will be my third Christmas without Mom. Maybe that plays a part of no Christmas spirit. Well, no maybe about it. It does. We always did those things together. (The village was always her favorite thing to put up.) Plus I have always loved shopping for gifts and buying something special for everyone. But this year finances are even tighter than last. And I just don't have the extra to spend. And that hurts.

I just have to find my way out of this dark time. I know I will. I hate feeling this way. Just bear with me.

With luck Rory may help bring back the smiles when I take him to see Santa tomorrow. At least for a little while. I leave you with a few photos from our Thanksgiving show weekend.

The group I show with. (I'm in the gray in the back)

Rory and me hanging out.
















Sunset on the ferry ride home.

May the spirit of Christmas light your world with love and laughter. Until next time.........
Love and stitches
Kathy
and licks from Rory too.
PS. I really do appreciate all the comments you leave for me. They mean so much. Especially this time of year. So thank you all for taking the time. I apologize for not commenting lately on your blogs. My computer at work is acting weird. It will only allow a few blogs to open. I keep getting an error message on many blogs. I hope to catch up with more of you over the weekend.

53 comments:

CalamityJr said...

Hugs to you. I understand missing your mom - this is my 33rd without mine. I do know she'd want you to enjoy Christmas. Without that very special Gift of Love, where would we be??? I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

GoldenAngelsWorks said...

Definitely hugs being sent out to you. I know what you mean about missing your mom. I sure miss my father and start drawing tears when I think of him. He passed Labor Day '04. Before my birthday and His birthday is in 9 days.

Please know you and Rory are in my thoughts and prayers.

I absolutely love the pic of Rory looking out over the water.

Meari said...

Aww, Kathy. ((Hugs)) to you.

I'm not much in the holiday spirit this year either. Like you, funds are tight. :(

Loved the photo of Rory with his "hair blowing in the wind" on the ferry! Thanks for sharing the others. They were great, too.

Nice exchange you received. Looking forward to seeing the ones you've sent off. Hope your stitching mojo comes back.

Witch of Stitches said...

It's a tough time of year when you are missing someone who has passed. This is the third Christmas without my dad, I understand. Hang in there, your mom wants you to go on and be happy - you know that. As for your stitching mojo, just take a few stitches, maybe just five. Keep doing just five and before you know it, you've got your mojo back!
Healing blessings!

Hazel said...

Oh dear. Big hugs to you dear friend. xxxxxxxx

Mouse said...

HI Kathy :) sending hugs and tissues your way to dry the key board .... it will get easier promise its 10 years since I lost my mum she was only 55. love the picture of Rory looking out to sea :) Sending thoughts of mojo coming back and that you will get stitching again .. little stitches soon will make a big picture :)
love mouse xxxxx

Pauline said...

I agree with Calamity, Kathy. It is so hard to feel jolly at this time of the year when our loved ones are no longer with us, but when we think of them, wouldn't they be saying to us- don't be sad, I'm still here in your heart, this is a happy time of the year and enjoy it like we used to.

My mum's been gone 13 years, my dad 17 years today (4th). Gosh, having a few tears myself. Deep breath.

Hug Rory and give him a few licks!

Emily said...

You are allowed to miss your mother, and you are allowed to be sad. Still miss my mother sometimes and it has been 7 years. The picture of Rory on the ferry and the sunset are great, his fur glows in the light.

Binky's Blog said...

Big hugs to you Kathy. I understand. I lost my mom in '89. It is okay if you have not picked up a needle. Be gentle with yourself. Your mojo will come back.
Take care and thank god for pets. Mine have helped me through some rough times.
Brenda

LindataxPA said...

This is my 4th year without Mom and it's very hard. I have my stitching mojo, but no decorating or gift mojo yet and wonder when that will come. Your blog does wonders for so many of us, did you know that Kathy? Rory makes me smile and want to reach out and give him a big hug, and root for him when he's going through his paces. You have a huge circle of friends who wish they could take away your pain. Just know that you are loved.

Linda B
Pgh PA
P.S. - Loved the picture of Rory on the ferry!

Kathy said...

Hugs to you, Kathy. I think we all miss our moms this time of year. I know I do and my mom as been gone over 20 years.
My stitching and decorating mojo are missing too, and Christmas is my favorite time of year. I forced myself to get out some of my Christmas stuff today.
Kathy

Fiona said...

sending you hugs and keeping you in my thoughts during this sad time, I hope you get your stitching mojo back soon hun xx

Maggee said...

Gosh, Rory is such a stately-looking dog! I will lift you in prayer to get your Christmas spirit going, and also your stitching mojo!! BIG HUGS to you, and a pat on Rory's head...

Margaret said...

Kathy, I'm so sorry times are hard for you and you're feeling down. I lost my mother more than 20 years ago when I was in college. I know how painful it is to lose your mom. I still miss her after all these years. Your sister's post on Facebook -- so beautiful. Hang in there. I'm feeling the same way in terms of the Christmas spirit. Things have been way too busy for me to even think of Christmas. it's hard. I'll be thinking of you. Hug Rory -- hope he enjoys Santa. And you too.

gracie said...

I know how hard it is to miss a loved one espcially so close to the holidays. My dad passed away on the 18th of December (1985) and it will always affect our family. Please know that so many of us understand...you will be in our thoughts. I want to say how beautiful Rory is! Pick up your stitching and relax....

Jennifer said...

I can fully understand. I thought I was having the Christmas spirit and then gone in one day. I just can't force myself to forget my kids and family have abandoned me. My husband being Dutch could care less, so it's just me, wanting to go to another mountain range about 10 states over for Christmas. I put out 2 little trees, no lights, and only a couple of ornies, I stopped after all the work to prepare the table when hubbie said I hadn't done anything all day.
It's just not the same anymore. No matter what I try to do, listen to Christmas music or what. When you miss your loved ones, Christmas seems gone.

Melody said...

Kathy, I feel for you after reading your post. If it helps at all, you are not alone with these feelings. I too, am missing my Mom and Dad at the holidays. And I can definitely relate to the budget woes at holiday time!! Try to make the best of things, and find something to bring you joy this season. Hugs to you.

~*Shar*~ said...

Here I sit tears running; I miss my dad more than words can say; I copied this and posted it on my facebook; I just changed "mom" to "Dad". It's beautiful hun. Holidays are so tough; Take care.

Hugs, Shar

Cindy's Stitching said...

I kept wondering if Rory had won anything over thanksgiving. Sorry about your mom. Your mom would want you to be happy and enjoy the holidays. She wouldn't want you to be sad. Maybe your Mojo will come back. My friend had a huge financial set back this year, and she may never recover. We all feel the pinch on our finances these day. May that christmas spirit find you once again.

Lyssa said...

Sending you hugs and prayers! I don't have much Christmas spirit this year either. My grandmother died December 27th 2009 and my grandfather died December 26th 1987 and I'm having a really hard time with missing them this year. Hang in there, your stitching mojo will wander back to you when its ready :)

Anonymous said...

Hugs to you and I know that your Mom would want you to be happy, miss my Mom although it has been 10 years. Just hang in there and if you stitch even two or three stitches that might help you to get back into your stitching.

Love & Hugs,
Marl

Pam in IL said...

[[[[HUGS]]]] I am feeling exactly the same as you. This is my first everything without my dad and my mom is still very ill. Everything is so very difficult.

May it help for you to know that others share in your pain and sorrow. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Pam in IL

Catherine said...

Hug, thoughts and prayers headed your way.......

It is so tough having lost a love one, especially during the holidays. Perhaps a sampler stitched in memory of your mother would be helpful.

Love the pic of Rory on the ferry! I'm sure he's a great comfort to you!

Vicky said...

Big hugs to you. I am receiving exchange goodies related to Christmas and the Christmas spirit hasn't reached me yet, so you are not alone.

KarenV said...

{{{Hugs}}} I'm sorry you're having a rough time at the moment. I understand about losing a loved one and also about finances being tight - ours are tighter this year than last and it's frustrating.

I would also say don't worry about stitching the gifts, don't force yourself to stitch on anything at the moment. You're still grieving about your mom, so be kind to yourself and don't get caught up in feeling like you "have" to do things. If you do want to stitch, just pick up something small and fun for you. Take care.

Pete's Pixie said...

Oh Kathy, I so know how you feel. Today is 5 years since I lost my mum. Christmas was never the easiest time for us but it seems that it gets earlier every year and people look at you funny when they ask what you are doing for Christmas and you say absolutely nothing. Last year I ground to a halt and didn't decorate at all - no tree, nothing; I didn't send any cards either. Money was tight and even if I could have afforded to buy them I couldn't afford to send them. Money is tight this year too but I am going to try to make the effort ... even if I am the only one that sees it.

Big hugs to you and Rory (he's a beauty) from me and Minnie May. Love, Ally xxx

Katrien said...

Hugs to you!
Your stitching mojo will return, mine's been lost for a couple of months :( I think it migrated out of the country!

blueladie said...

Kathy, sending lots of hugs and prayers. This is the season of faith and hope. Hang on to that. As always I LOVE reading your blog and seeing the pics of what you and Rory are doing. Sending loving pets to Rory, too. :) Cathryn

Rita said...

(((((Kathy)))))

Terry said...

Kathy,

I hope that today finds you a little better in spirits then you were when you posted. I love reading your blog to find out what you and Rory have been up to lately. It always makes me smile to see/hear about your fun times together. lol Love the pictures you have of him!

The holidays are harder than the rest of the year, as is the anniversary of her passing. Eventually it will get a little easier. Please know that you have a lot of friends who are thinking of you and praying for you.

Sending giant hugs your way!!!

Roberta said...

Do hope you cheer up soon, Kathy. It is always hard when one loses someone so special. I think it is a tough year this year for a lot of people.

On a great note - you have Rory and what a fine friend you have. Love the pictures taken on the Ferry.

Thinking of you with happy thoughts.

Chrizette @ All the days of said...

Hope that this weekend brings lots of smiles for you and makes you feel just a little better. I also lost my mom 16 years ago when I was only 23 so I didn't have much time with her as an adult. But I know she is in a better place :)
Chriz’s stitchy blog

Sherry said...

What a sweet thing your sister wrote. Don't feel bad about the tears. This is my second Christmas without my Dad and I still get weepy. For some reason, my holiday spirit hasn't kicked in yet either. I hope you are able to have a nice Christmas holiday with Rory. I know that sometimes that is easier said than done but remember you are loved.

Barb said...

Rory I think your 'mum' needs a great big lick or even 2. Sprinkle it with happy memories and a big ladle of love and if you can find that missing mojo well what a dog you will be.
Take care my friend and I do hope you will soon be feeling more like you,so many of us know what it feels like to have an angel Mum,big hugs. Hope Rory enjoyed his visit to Santa , loved the pic on the ferry like so many others.

Robin said...

Missing loved ones this time of year is so hard to overcome. I'm sending a big hug your way. Hoping you get your mojo back soon. Hug Rory for me, too.

Romantic Fool said...

So sorry to hear that you are feeling blue. It must be the time of year that makes it seem that much more daunting! I too have been hit by some rough times this year. Finances, death of loved ones, job insecurity, to the point that I feel that it is hopeless. But I, like you, have a wonderful dog and a love for cross stitching. I turn to my dog for companionship because his love is an unconditional love and my stitching for inspiration. Pick up one of your projects despite not wanting to! You may just get your mojo back! And lean on your friends and family that are there for you. That's why God has them in your life! I hope that everyone that has an ache in their heart this Christmas finds some peace!

Joy said...

Hey Kathy! I can understand how you are feeling. This is the first holiday season without my FIL and the second with my dad in his state of illness. It is hard to sometimes do what we enjoy the most because we are missing our loved ones. I "try" to keep in mind how they would want us to live our lives and still love and honor them. As hard as it may seem, start to decorate for the holiday season a little at a time & remember the wonderful times with your mother. Chances are you will have some smiles as you do so. I am sure Rory will help with you to!

Myra said...

Hugs to you Kathy. I miss my mother this time of year too although it has been many years since she passed. Keep those prcious memories close to your heart, they will see you through again and again.

Can Rory be more handsome than in that photo on the ferry? Wow! Great shot.

Irene said...

I know just how you are feeling. My Dad passed 12/15/05, and I've yet to fully enjoy the season. Remembering all the good times and some not so good, does help.
I just love the picture of Rory standing at the boat rail.

Shelley said...

Sending you a huge cyber {{{{{{HUG}}}}}}... I know what it is like to lose a loved one, not a Mom but a loved one none the less, during the holiday season. That seems to be the most inappropriate time to pass so it happens a lot in my family. If you need someone to listen or talk to I'm here for you... s.tompkins76@yahoo.com

DJ said...

{{{{{Kathy}}}}} Sending you cyber hugs. I'll be praying for you through the Christmas season, and hoping you find peace and joy again. I know there are no words to comfort you, but hopefully knowing there are lots of caring people thinking about you and praying for you right now will help you through. *Hugs*

And This Little Pig said...

No words Kathy, just lots of hugs and good thoughts... hang in there, give Rory lots of pats and hugs. It will help ((HUG)) from me and my crew.
LiBBiE

Kay said...

I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling it is so understandable though. I lost my mom almost 14 years ago, it is hard to say the least when you lose a loved one like that. Grieving has no time limit, it will take time and even then you never really get over the loss but you learn to cope better with it. Big hugs to you, I hope you are doing alright.

Nancy M said...

Reading all the comments, you are definitely not alone in the holiday blues. I hope you find some holiday spirit, and I'm sure you will. Give Rory a few extra hugs and I'm sure he'll return the love.

Joanie said...

Girl, I know just how you feel. There's no Christmas spirit in my piece of the world either. For me, it's just "get 'em over". I miss my parents, especially my Dad. I will keep you in my prayers and I'm sending you a ton of (((HUGS)))!!!

ariadne said...

Hope time will heal your heart and cheer you up!My dad has been away for 12 years!I still miss him so much!Ariadne from Greece!

Bea de Caracas said...

A big kiss to you and Rory!
Hugs from my setter Guiness to the lovely Rory...

Susimac said...

Hugs and thoughts with you, Harry sends wet kisses too.

Shelleen said...

I am sorry you are having a hard time {{{hugs}}}

MaryT said...

Hugs to you Cathy, I know right how you feel like you don't want to stitch but my mom (she is gone too) always get busy fingers and before you know it things will seem better.

Hugs Again
Mary in IN

Siobhan said...

I'm sending you a big hug, Kathy. I know how hard the holidays and anniversaries of deaths and birthdays and special days are when the loved one isn't there to share it. I don't think the pain eases as time passes--I think it just becomes more manageable or familiar. My FIL passed away on December 6 of this year... I will always remember your mother on that day, too.

Maggie O said...

You and Rory are a great team and should be celebrating all that you are!!The photographs are great and you can see he has an excellent owner - it is "shining" out of him. It is a great time of year to reach out to friends, family, neighbours and co-workers. It doesn't need to cost either... being with others helps but sometimes you need to be the one that reaches out. Your love for your Mom is admirable...keep on being you...get stitching when you can and do enjoy this season of good will - it is all over your comments.!!Prayers and thoughts your way

too_busy_to_stitch said...

Big hugs to you Kathy - just looked in to wish you a Merry Christmas. I still miss my mum, and it's now been eight years, so I know how you're feeling. I'm not feeling awfully festive - we're all snowed in, and I don't feel it CAN be Christmas just on Saturday??? Not stitching too much either, though mostly because just not got the time now I'm working again. At least I'm done with college, so maybe in the New Year I'll get going again! Love, Viv x