Thursday, December 4, 2008

4th day exchange gift--Post 17

Day 4 of the 12 Days Of Christmas exchange is a jazz cd of Christmas music. I am not a fan of jazz music but I'll give it a listen this weekend.

Something has to start bringing me the Christmas spirit. I hope. I just can't get motivated for Christmas this year. :( With everything going on with my Mom and the complete lack of funds I am finding it so hard to get into the Christmas cheer. Christmas has always been a favorite of mine and I love to give gifts. And I usually overdo in that department. For the last two days a song that I love keeps running through my head. The first verse kind of sums up my mood.

"Where Are You Christmas"
Where are you Christmas Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

Faith Hill sings a version of this that I love. But the words are so true for me. Especially this year.

My Mom's illness and slow decline is just zapping the Christmas cheer from me. I try to stay upbeat for her sake. It's not easy.

Over this past week I have been noticing some changes going on with her. And yesterday some had seemed to worsen so I called in the hospice nurse to evaluate her. Her prognosis wasn't good. Mom is having difficulty swallowing and a couple of other issues going on. I only hope and pray that I can keep her home with me where she is comfortable and her kitty can spend time on her lap. I'm not sure how much longer I can but I will try.
Remember that to-do list in posting 15? Guess what? I only only managed to get ONE item accomplished! That's right--ONE! Staying close to my Mom and waiting for the nurse as well as the nurses 2 hour visit and phone calls to some of my siblings left me little time to get much done outside. Oh well, maybe Saturday. Yeah, yeah I know--wishful thinking. LOL

Oh I heard they are predicting snow for Sunday. Maybe it will be just enough to cover up all the unraked leaves. Hey, I can hope can't I?

Until next time.
Love and stitches


Carolyn NC said...

Some years I'm really into all the fun things with Christmas, some I'm not. You can only do so much. But you're taking care of your mom, which is the most important thing. I hope she stabilizes and that you can enjoy the holiday season regardless. Hugs.
P.S. Nice gift!

Anonymous said...

Sending you a big hug! I hope to be able to pay you a visit & maybe we can glitter something (pine cones? branches? old ornaments who have lost some sparkle)...Who know some of the sparkle may infect us,lol.

Nancy said...

It must be hard to watch her go downhill, but at least she is still at home and comfortable. I hope that you can find some peace this Christmas! You and Mare really need to get together for some girl time!